The recoveries of different types of surgeries as as varied as the surgeries themselves. Some, like surgeries on feet, ankles, and knees require lengthy bedrest periods with limited mobility. You will have crutches or other aids to help get you around, you will not be able to get back to your ‘normal’ activities for at least 3 weeks. Here are my top tips for a lengthy bed rest and limited mobility type of recovery:
1.. It is OK to acknowledge that the change in identity is rough. I went from active-working-mom to bed rest patient in the span of a few hours. I needed help, I needed someone to take care of my chores and my kids, and I did NOT like not being able to take care of myself. The bathroom rug would fold up and I would not be able to straighten it out while on crutches, and I would worry that folded rug would trip me up. I hated the way I couldn’t even help myself by doing the smallest thing. During my recovery, I needed reminding over and over that it is OK to feel uncomfortable in this new identity. There are a lot of different thoughts that make up an identity, and I needed to address all the thoughts causing suffering. For me, this meant working with my Coach on my thoughts of needing help, not being able to take care of myself, communication with caregivers, my value in the family, causing my family to endure this recovery along side me, as well as other thoughts. Absolutely no one in the doctors office warned me about this or was prepared to talk to me about thoughts causing suffering. However, these are perfect conversations for you and a Life Coach. I believe my recovery was more pleasant, with less anxiety and depression because I was able to untangle some of these thoughts with my Life Coach.
2. Don’t Forget about the rest of your body. When you have a painful, throbbing or prickly surgery site, your attention in generally drawn there. People ask you about your foot, ankle, or knee and not about the rest of your body. How the surgery site is feeling will set the tone for the day.However, it is important to take time to tune in to the rest of your body. Is your body feeling underworked? Many muscles are being underutilized during bed rest and might not feel great. Ask your doctor if you are cleared to do some upper body movements while in bed or to take a hot bath. I got a massage after three weeks bedrest and it has been one of the best things I have ever done. My masseuse got the blood going, worked out sore spots and the lymph moving. I had really been ignoring my body, and it felt great to feel connected again. If you are in Billings, I highly recommend Alex and Lynn at Mbody.
3. Remember it is a marathon, not a sprint. We often stress and worry about the surgery, but forget that surgery is just one day (usually), and we have a lifetime relationship with our 'altered body'. Surgery and recovery can be likened to significant life events such as a wedding or the birth of children. On the day of the procedure, there is a whirlwind of important things and memories being made, much like those special days. However, the impact of surgery goes far beyond that single day. It marks the beginning of a lasting relationship with the healed body part. Your journey post-surgery will define your new normal for years to come. Sometimes, the results of surgery exceed expectations, like the relief of a deviated septum allowing for better breathing. Other times, challenges arise from the corrective process, such as adjusting to the changes after ACL repair in the knee. Adapting to a transformed body takes time and patience, with nuances that shift over seasons and circumstances. It's a continuous process of getting to know and care for your altered self. Embracing this evolution with a positive mindset and self-compassion is crucial in building a healthy relationship with your body. By acknowledging fears, practicing kindness towards oneself, and fostering a sense of optimism, one can navigate the post-surgery journey with grace and acceptance, paving the way for a brighter future filled with self-appreciation and contentment.
4. Give yourself grace when you are trying to figure out your feelings. First, surgery causes your body and brain to basically think it is under attack, not safe and wounded. You might feel hyper-sensitive to things that feel unsafe, no matter how small the action. We don't always know we are feeling unsafe because in the past we didn't have that reaction, for example the kids playing near you now has you YELLING at them to stop.
Secondly, we are using this frazzled brain to get through recovery. Fights with your husband, trouble shooting with your kids, or your boss asking you back to work will be using the brain that is not at its best. If I am frazzled with other people, I have found it helpful to a) acknolwedge I am not at my clearest thinking; b) wait until I feel compassionate/ journal until I feel compassionate; c) apologize if I acted without compassion. When I find myself criticizing my husband I acknowledge to myself I am not at my best thinking. Maybe my expectations are off. I notice I am not acting with compassion, but with criticism. I can speak with my coach or journal about what I am feeling, and hopefully get to a place of compassion. I might apologize to my husband, I might try to express my concerns in a different way. I do not call myself an asshole or wonder what is wrong with me.
5. There will be times when you don't like where you are in the healing process. At some point, everyone wishes they were further along, feeling less pain, back to normal already, thought recovery would be different, etc. This disconnect causes much more suffering than you might think. Byron Katie says, “When you argue with reality, you lose, but only 100% of the time.” When we feel disappointment, stress, guilt, shame or whatever because of where we are in our healing journey, we pile on suffering onto ourselves. Women especially put pressure on themselves to be other than they are in their healing journey. If you find yourself disappointed that you can't ditch the crutches yet, sick and tired of bed rest, guilt that you aren't tucking your kids in to bed again, frustrated that you can't even reheat leftovers by yourself, these are all symptoms that you wish you were somewhere else in your healing process and are causing yourself suffering. The best practice is to notice this when you can, and guide yourself back to where you are and why it is the best plan for you. These sneaky thoughts may present itself 5 different ways in one day. Remember you are always doing your best. Your body's pace for healing is the best thing for you wheather you know it or not. Working with your coach on these thoughts can bring relief and help you heal with confidence.
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